The United States of America is a great country...with some terrible habits. In pursuit of a more perfect union, we must confront our truths; even the ugly ones. Then, we must humble ourselves, reconcile with reality, and do better.
In this edition of Lyrics Overhaul, we'll reimagine a patriotic favorite, seasoned with a fair helping of honesty.
DISCLAIMER: No lies were told in the making of this rewrite.
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For my first installment of Got Barz? I'm featuring Ariana Grande's "7 Rings". While boasting an inclusive video and dubiously references to her stacked behind, Ariana also flexes with fire barz. You want it? You got it.
I didn't bag my groceries, but I also didn't send this letter, so this is all an exercise in futility. And while you're here, hop on over to the poetry page to read my end-of-the-month feature #Sadderday. #notestoself #kayenjee
You know all those epic poems that were required reading in high school and college? Yeah, me either. I don't think I finished the Iliad, the Odyssey, or Dante's Inferno. But you're in luck! We can redeem ourselves by reading them again for my latest series called So Epic. "Another series?" you ask. Yes, I'm an Aries. No one requested this, and perhaps no one wants to relive the grief and pain of the human existence through excruciatingly long poems, but you could skip all that and just come for my recaps. I'll try to pepper them with gif's and wry humor. We'll be starting with Iliad on Saturday, September 7th. If you are unfamiliar with the story, here is a summary courtesy of Wikipedia. "The Iliad is an ancient Greek epic poem in dactylic hexameter, traditionally attributed to Homer. Set during the Trojan War, the ten-year siege of the city of Troy (Ilium) by a coalition of Greek states, it tells of the battles and events during the weeks of a quarrel between King Agamemnon and the warrior Achilles." Tantalizing. Until then, check out #Haikusday every Tuesday, Poems About Songs every Thursday, and other miscellany on Saturdays. Come back soon. #makepoetryfunagain #MPFA
Thinking back to 2017, I recognize a series of unfortunate events that led us to that moment in time; a time in which "Gucci Gang" was a thing and Lil Pump may have been referred to as a recording artist. While its lyrics are mind-numbing, the song is a bop and can never be erased from one's memory. Listen at your own peril, although, you must hear it to to fully appreciate the following parody. I will not link it here, because I refuse to be complicit in the downfall of society as we know it. Presenting "Unicorn", conceived to the tune of "Gucci Gang".
Me: Some days I just don't have time for self care.
Also, me: I think I can squeeze in *one more* Jenna Marbles video today. Me: I'm going to wake up early, meditate, make coffee, and make the most of my day.
Also, me: 5:30 a.m.? I don't know her. Me: I just want to make friends.
Also, me: I don't know why they invited me, I don't do social anything. If you're here for parodies, check back to see how I bastardize the hard work of others for the sake of entertainment, views, and wasting productivity hours.
If you're desperate to claw your way out of the quicksand pit of poems that is my website, you've come to the right place! It's just the wrong time, because I haven't posted yet. Be patient, young grasshopper, soon... |
Rabbit HoleAt this point, you've fallen in pretty deep. I suggest you call for help. Just make sure your friend has the internet...and checks out the website. TYSM Archives
July 2021
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